Same old, same old. He’s reached out once a month just about every month for the past six months. What’s changed? He and his girlfriend broke up last November, so naturally, he wants to pick up where we left off. I believe that’s what has prompted the latest rounds of reaching out to me.

And he’s pulling out all the stops – apologies, nostalgia, begging, he even tried to find out about me through my best friend, all under the guise of friendship. But, Spoiler Alert! He was never my friend.

The arrogance in reaching out to me during the wee hours just reinforces how self-centered he is. He mixed every interaction we had with sex, why would I ever believe that things are different now? And my “great friend” was so concerned about me, why not contact me when the Covid pandemic first hit two years ago and check on me? Or when he found out that I suffered a stroke? Where was my “great friend” then?

He has shown no concern for my welfare during the past three years, but now that he no longer has a girlfriend, here he is again. And I am to believe that he is reaching out as my friend? If platonic friendship was his true intention, why not contact me when he was still in his relationship?

I’m so grateful that I’ve learned as much as I have about who he truly is that I can see right through him. I recognize that this is just a performance to elicit a response from me to serve him in some way. Feed his ego, warm his bed, ease a fake guilty conscience, it’s all manipulation. He just wants to get his hold over me back, so that he can use me to satisfy his selfish desires and regulate his self worth via his sexual prowess.

PAST BEHAVIOR IS THE BEST INDICATION OF FUTURE BEHAVIOR

Exploiting my good nature and using me for sex and narcissistic supply is what destroyed my self-worth and self-esteem. It’s taken me two years to get back to ME, why would I ever go back to that? Once upon a time, he brainwashed me into believing that we were friends to get me to lower my defenses and trust him. And now he’s trying again because it’s all he knows.

No, the spell is broken. And thanks to all that I have learned, I am quickly turned off and bored by any romantic interest who is inconsistent, hot and cold, breadcrumbing, or lovebombing me.

A man won’t even qualify unless his masculine energy is consistently coming towards me. I will pay attention to how I feel both in his presence and when I’m by myself. I will never forget how it felt to feel like something was always missing, that I had to hold back. That no matter who I was or what I did, it was never enough, I was never enough.